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February 19, 2008 |
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Previous Posts |
I Love You to Tears...
I really thought that Aselya was finished crying about being left behind at preschool.
But, um. No. Not at all.
It started back up a good two weeks ago, and she cries every single time I drop her off. It is the weirdest thing. She will talk about how much she loves Miss Angie and Miss Jackie. She will talk about how much she misses them. She will talk about her new friends at school. She will boast with pride about going to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Then comes the breakdown.
Sometimes it starts at home. Sometimes it starts at school. Each time it ends with me pushing her toward one of her teachers while I scurry out the door with Xaden tightly clutched to my side.
Today was no exception. It was pajama day. It was Aselya's first pajama day! Being a girl who ALWAYS loved pajama day, I thought I had her EXCITED. She happily got ready for school. She then watched some Sesame Street YouTube videos until I announced it was time to depart.
She fell apart. "I DON'T WANT TO WEAR MY JAMMIES! I DON'T WANT TO WEAR JAMMIES TO SCHOOL!" I could not say anything to calm her down. I tried to help her to understand that all of her classmates would be wearing jammies and that it was going to be one big, fun pajama party. No go. We just got into the van where I tried to drown out her endless chanting of "I DON'T WANT TO WEAR MY JAMMIES!" with some music.
It worked until we arrived and then it all started up again. There were tears of anguish as I left her in the hands of her teachers. I walked away feeling just horrible.
I know Aselya loves school. I know she loves her teachers. So what is it about me leaving her there that is so difficult? I'm always there to pick her up right on time. I'm always excited to see her. I'm always excited about what she did or will do at school. I just don't understand it.
I decided some time ago to send Aselya back to the same preschool next year. After her very difficult beginning, I didn't want to put her through that again by sending her to another place. I decided to "suck it up" for another year and make the 20-minute commute (each way). Now I am thinking that my effort was fruitless. I think she'll be this way no matter where she is.
All I really know is that it is beyond frustrating. I love the school Aselya attends. I love the teachers. I love that they are always willing to take her in with a smile on their faces. I love that they offer her comfort as I'm running away. I'm fairly certain I made the correct decision for next year. I'm struggling with the unnecessary tears and really hope that they subside soon. |
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